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In the 1970s, Lily Tomlin developed an iconic comic character she named Ernestine--a telephone clerk who took perverse pleasure from hectoring customers. Her character was a perfect portrayal of the arrogance of AT&T, the monopolistic telephone giant of that day. In one skit on on the TV show, Laugh-In, Tomlin had Ernestine delivering a TV pitch for the corporation:
"A gracious hello," she cheerfully began, speaking directly into the camera. "Here at the Phone Company, we handle 84 billion calls a year. So, we realize that every so often, you can't get an operator, or for no apparent reason your phone goes out of order, or perhaps you get charged for a call you didn't make. We don't care!"
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GREEDHEAD TROPHY UP FOR GRABS
America’s sports writers had all but ceded the coveted “Corporate Greedhead Trophy” to the Wall Street Barons this year but – Holy Cow – here come the Health Care Insurance Giants !
To paraphrase my old high school football coach, “when the going gets ugly, the ugly get going” – and our country’s five largest health insurance corporations are definitely making a run for the trophy. They recently stunned greed-watchers with an announcement that they had scored record profits in 2009, totaling $12.2 billion. Wow – that’s a 56 percent hike in profits over the previous year for United Health, Wellpoint, Aetna, Humana, and Cigna!
Wait, that’s not all, The Insurance Giants also booted 2.7 million Americans out of their health plans last year, leaving these older and sicker customers in the corporate dust. Then, in a slick, hidden-ball play, three of the five Giants shifted more of their customers’ premiums out of providing medical care, instead siphoning more of that money into corporate profits, executive salaries, and administrative overhead. I’m telling you, these guys can play!
Check out the spectacular “Hail Mary” pass heaved by Anthem Blue Cross, a California subsidiary of Wellpoint. Even though Wellpoint is rolling in a 91 percent increase in profits, its Anthem unit suddenly streaked toward the goal line, shocking its unsuspecting customers with a demand for a 39 percent increase in their premiums this year. This rate hike is 10 times more than the rise in the actual cost of health care. What a move!
Still, it won’t be easy for the upstart Insurance Giants to out-ugly the more sophisticated Wall Street Barons. But the great thing about the corporate league is that competition to be the number one national greedhead is always fierce – and insurance is definitely in the running.
“Report: Big 5 insurers’ profits up 56% in 2009,” Austin American Statesman, February 12, 2010.
“Administration Rejects Health Insurer’s Defense of Huge Rate Increase,” The New York Times, February 12, 2010.
“Under Pressure, Insurer Delays Double-Digit Rate Increase for California Customers,” The New York Times, February 14, 2010.
“39% rate hike will be delayed in California,” The Oregonian, February 14, 2010.