Jim Hightower

Poor Al – he's all resumé, no job. Sort of a yuppyfied version of "All hat, no cattle."

And what a resumé he has: graduate of Harvard law school; a Republican political prodigy in Texas; state supreme court justice at an early age; chief lawyer for the President of the United States; and then – to put the cherry on the political banana split – he became U.S. attorney general, America's top lawyer. Yet, now, the guy is reduced to carrying a hand-written cardboard sign at the intersection saying, "Will work for $600 an hour."

Alberto Gonzales can't get a job. While junior staffers from his own department are being snagged for high-paying influence-peddling jobs in Washington, Al can't get a bite. Having been forced to resign as attorney general, the Texan who flowered in the manure of George W's corporate-financed rise to power has been putting out feelers to the very corporate law firms that fueled his rise to the legal heights. But, alas, no takers. As one principal of a powerhouse Washington law firm gently said of Gonzales's failed application, "I wouldn't say rebuffed. I would say not taken up."

Gonzales confused personal loyalty to the Bush regime with public responsibility. Legalize torture? He'd find a way. Use the justice department as a political hit squad? He was okay with that. Go before congress and play a dummy? Hey, count on Al.

Unfortunately, this tail-wagging, dog-like loyalty to the Bushites caused Gonzales to be seen as, let's say, less-than-truthful, even to Republican lawmakers. Plus, he's facing possible criminal charges for his prevarications. So the special-interest law firms that once lionized him for his fealty to their agenda, now are not returning his phone calls.

Mamas don't let your boys or girls grow up to be political hacks, for their loyalty will not be rewarded.