Jim Hightower

It's always reassuring to see that America's scientific geniuses are busy solving the pressing problems that our society faces such as the need to turn the dark meat of chickens into white meat.

I'm sure that you, like me, have spent many a sleepless night worrying about the fact that the average American consumer tends to disdain the dark-meat parts of chicken, preferring the white meat of the breasts. The unfortunate result is that most of the dark parts the legs and thighs end up being sold cheap by the giant poultry processors for export to Russia and the Middle East. You can see the urgent societal problem that this poses, can't you? Obviously, America must find a way for chicken processors to make more money on dark meat.

Well, I'm delighted to report that, once again, our public investment in science has paid off! Daniel Fletcher, a University of Georgia professor of poultry science has resolved the chicken crisis by devising a formula and a process that turns the dark meat white. Here's how: Dark meat is ground up and mixed with water to create a soupy slurry that is then spun around in a tub at very high speed. The centrifugal force separates the former chicken into layers of fat, water, and meat residue. The residue is whitish, and it can then be molded into breast-like patties and used as faux white meat in "chicken" nuggets... or whatever. Ingenious, no?

But what about flavor, you ask? Well, the professor admits that "It tastes like something you would use with Hamburger Helper." But, hey, that's another problem, and I'm sure the flavor-science boys are all over it. Meanwhile, a spokesman for the National Chicken Council says : "At the end of the day, the consumer's going to be the one to say this is a good idea or not a good idea."

This is Jim Hightower saying..... Leave Chicken Alone! To give this chicken-plucking industry your two-cents worth about chicken whitening, call the Chicken Council: "202) 296-2622.